Opinionated Solutions to Life's Problems

Lots of opinions, Lots of options, Lots of hidden answers to Life's convulated questions.

Location: California, United States

LIKES: India, Music, Math, Dance, Advertising, Statistics, Optimism, Dreams, Strong opinions, Rains, Bike rides, Caribbean Sea, Jamaica, Waterfalls, Swimming, Stray dogs, Full moon, Tagore, F.R.I.E.N.D.S., Junglee sandwich, Phone talks, Jasmine flowers, Short work meetings, Fridays & Saturdays, Chocolate ice-cream at mid-night. HATES: Sweet tongued liars & Bitter tongued liars

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Cube Chronicles

If you are like the thousands like me who spend their day in a 9X9 ft cube in a typical tech company, you know what it is to have noisy neighbours- cubemates as some of my friends call them.

Not very long ago, I had this ideal cube on the 2nd floor. It was at the end of a row of cubes and had this nice view of the trees and balcony complete with bistro sets. What really added to the 'ideal' factor was the fact that I was surrounded by quiet, considerate, and workaholic cubemates.

Then a few days back, at 4'o clock one afternoon I saw a few people casually strolling the aisle next to where I sit. They were checking out the empty cubes and joking about putting a table tennis table right in the middle of both aisles.

I forgot about this day until a few days back when I saw all the cubes getting inhabitated by these really loud people who were never on conference calls but always talking to each other the whole freaking day. I decided to give them the benefit of the doubt- maybe they were just settling in- initial jitters you know.

Now, they are all settled and very much feel at home here- proved by their constant chatter. But, I am only irritated by this one character G who looks really breezy with his hawaiian shirt and flip flops dress code but when he talks...time stops for me. His really shrill, full throated voice cuts through every tissue of my brain producing instant headaches. His telephone conversations seem to go on forever.

Oh wait, I hear a real time conversation...

G: Hey buddies!
X, Y and Z in unison: Hey!
G: Do you know if a particular allergy medicine can make you groggy?
Y: I think I have heard this one does
G: Damn, Damn, Damn! (In a record breaking shrill + loud voice)
Z: What what?
G: I took that one this morning and now I am falling asleep walking
Z: I think you should rest
ME: :-)
G: No, I think I need to stay around for a while to finish that xls
ME: :-(
Y: We can finish it tomorrow also
ME: :-)
G: Oh the freaking headache!! (Shrill raise to square) But no I HAVE to finish this today!!
ME: :-(
X,Y,Z (in unison): Please go, NOW, you look terrible!
ME: :-) :-) :-)

At the risk of deserting this post half way, I am going to finish that incomplete email that I needed to send to my manager half an hour back. The job is more important than my blog ;) AND I need to finish a LOT before G comes back tomorrow!

Monday, August 28, 2006

I Wonder Why

Someone recently forwarded me a list of all these Wonder Why's. I thought some of them were really cool!

Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above? ;)
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Saturday, August 26, 2006

The thing about truth

Something that always strikes me about truth is how easy it is to be on its side. I mean haven't we all lied sometime or the other in life? Even self- proclaimed truth addicts like me have lied sometime or the other in life. It's not like an angel once told me not to lie and I stopped. It's just that life becomes so much simpler when you tell the truth like it is. No jhuth and no 100 jhuth's to hide the one jhuth. Agreed? ;)

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

The Asses OOPS SS's

I've talked about habitual insult inflictors on my blog about crafty people and the sadistic pleasure that they derive from hurting someone with their words.

I am feeling the need to write about another group of people who are passively causing disruption in many normal lives- They are the Sympathy Seekers (SS's).

These are some key characteristics of a compulsive sympathy seeker:
  • SS's are looking out for kind words from every person in this world.
  • It doesn't matter if SS's are happy or sad; they want sympathy ALWAYS.
  • If SS's feel happy for some strange reason, they are quick to turn it into a sad moment as soon as they sense a potential sympathy giver around.
  • SS's feel a strange sense of satisfaction after a long sympathy session that they got from someone. I think it almost feels theraupatic to them, how sick!
  • SS's are human beings too and sometimes they feel happy, really deeply happy and they kind of start liking this feeling until they meet their old, long lost sympathy giver buddy who drags they back to the sweet feeling of taking sympathy. The dialogue progresses like this:

    SS: Hey buddy, long time, no see (with a huge smile on their face- unbelievable yet true)
    SG (Sympathy Giver yaar!) : Hey good to see you but you look different (See the emphasis on the word- different)
    SS: Oh ya? You mean different in a good way right?
    SG: Ummm, well, uhhhhh, Yah yah
    SS: Hey c'mon yaar, tell me na, what's there in your mind.
    SG: No, yaar, it's just that ummm, you seem to look a little down
    The Ummm, well, uhhhh seems to have worked, aage padho!
    SS: Oh yah? Well, no, I am doing ok, I guess (See the word 'guess', there is where the doubt begins to enter dear SS)
    SG: I hope you are doing well because, I feel you have lost your smile somewhere, I remember you as someone so happy and always smiling
    SS: Yah, work has been really hectic and at home too, it's just ok (it was fantastic but the potential of a calming sympathy session made it 'just ok')
    SG: Want to talk about it?
    SS: Sure

DONE. Three minutes turn around time. From Happy to SS. Kudos SG, You did it again in record time.

  • SS's favourite phrases are: 'I am sorry for what happened to you', ' you look so sad and miserable', ' do you want to talk about your pathetic state', 'you have lost your smiling face!', 'I am always available to talk (ie. listen to your shit) whenever you feel the need.'
  • SS's hate people who tell them to grow up, stop seeking sympathy, and generally get on with their lives.
  • SS's ALWAYS crave for more sympathy. They don't have the word 'contentment' in their dictionaries.

If you ever meet a SS and your personality doesn't allow you to be a SG then back off, BACK OFF, real quick before you get sucked into their sad, little, pathetic world. Consider yourself WARNED.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Chottu, this one is for you!

It had been raining since morning but I still had to go to school, tuitions, music class and when I got back home, I was fully drenched even if I had a raincoat on (sometimes I wonder what those raincoats do, coz they are extremely uncomfortable and actually limit your movements), but anyway, so I was completely drenched and went straight to the bathroom to take a warm shower.

After a nice hot dinner, I perched myself on the swing outside in our covered verandah. That's when I saw him. He was completely drenched, barely able to keep his eyes focussed because of the rains thrashing wildly. He just stood there for sometime, staring intently at me, before he took a few steps towards me. I stopped the swing abruptly meeting his gaze and trying to get a good view with the dimming lights of the road not helping me. Suddenly, he came a few steps closer again but that is when I saw the limp, as I got nearer, he just kept staring at me. I thought he would run away, after all that's what squirrels do when they see humans so up and close. But, he (I named him chottu- meaning 'small' and 'tiny') didn't budge, not even when I picked him up softly. He looked tired and weak, but I could feel his heart thumping in my hands. I ran inside and grabbed a rag to dry him up. I also got an old shoe box that I lined with a soft towel. I put chottu inside the box and ran in the kitchen to get some milk. Fortunately, I found an old mustard bottle cleaned and put away by my mom in one of the cabinets (This was the only- first and the last- time that I've had use for an empty cleaned up mustard bottle- more on that later~!). I filled it up with a little warm milk and held it up to chottu. He didn't seem interested. But, when I approached him a few minutes after, he eagerly lapped up the milk, and I could see how hungry he was. I could almost see a satisfied smile at the curve of chottu's mouth when he was done with the milk. Nah, that wasn't my imagination!

In about two hours though, I could see chottu closing and opening his eyes intermittently. At almost midnight, he closed his eyes but I could see his heart thumping inside the shoe box. I slept with a satisfied feeling.

When I woke up the next morning, it was sunny and beautiful...exactly like those days when the rains do a clean up job of the entire city. I eagerlty went upto chottu's small bed but he was still sleeping; the only difference was that I could'nt see his heart thumping. My heart skipped a beat. No, this cannot happen. Chottu is fine I told myself again.

Chotu was put to rest in a nice flowery corner of our garden, though my association with him lasted for just one evening, I missed him. Chottu was the first loss for me. I had never seen death and this was the first time that I had seen a living being alive one day and then dead the very next day. This was the very first time that I realized that how much ever you try and wish for few things to be alright and always with you, God sometimes can take them away.

This is also the time I realized why my mom never wanted me to have a dog as my pet. She knew it would be fun for me all along the way but maybe the eventual loss would be too hard on me. As I grew older, I've learnt to deal with loss much better but still think about Chottu sometimes...some connections have no logic to them, let's not spend time analyzing them, let's just enjoy their memories, for years to come.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

O Saathi Re, Vishal You rock!

Just heard the songs of Omkara. I liked Beedi Jalayke ;) but I loved O saathi re. It has been sung by Shreya Ghoshal and Vishal Bharadwaj; who is the Director and Music Director of this movie.

I always knew Shreya Ghoshal was talented but Vishal's rustic and mature voice came as a pleasant surprise. His voice is so earthy, so full of passion that I almost cried listening to his paragraphs.

This particular composition has been picturized on Kareena and Ajay and is loosely based on Raag Gujri Todi- which is a melancholy Indian classical raga; one of my favorites.