Opinionated Solutions to Life's Problems

Lots of opinions, Lots of options, Lots of hidden answers to Life's convulated questions.

Location: California, United States

LIKES: India, Music, Math, Dance, Advertising, Statistics, Optimism, Dreams, Strong opinions, Rains, Bike rides, Caribbean Sea, Jamaica, Waterfalls, Swimming, Stray dogs, Full moon, Tagore, F.R.I.E.N.D.S., Junglee sandwich, Phone talks, Jasmine flowers, Short work meetings, Fridays & Saturdays, Chocolate ice-cream at mid-night. HATES: Sweet tongued liars & Bitter tongued liars

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Yeh Rahe Pictures


I just had to post these pictures up

Look how innocent sharmila looks --- She's thinking, "Aaj mein hamare beech ke saare jhagde solve karungi"

Look how dreamy rajesh looks--- He's thinking, "Aaj mein hamare beech ki saari deewarein gira dunga, to hell with the countless jhagdaas!"

PS: The pictures and captions alone won't make any sense without first reading the post below. This is just a 'logical' extention of the post below. BTW, I can't promise that these would make any sense even after you read the posts below. Bas aise hi style mein bol diya :p

Music: Roop tera mastana (LOL sachee!)
Mood: Whacky

He said, She said

Picture this- An argument between a man and a woman. A sentence here, a fitting retort there. An angrier judgment and an even louder response. The bedroom door banging, the study door banging. SILENCE.

15 minutes later...

Emails being checked in the study room ... work getting accomplished in its normal way

Sobbing and thinking and analyzing in the bedroom ... not even a thought about anything but the fight.

30 minutes later...

Mood's almost back to normal in the study room (That's Mars for you)

Mood's lousy (yah itna lousy jaisa a half-baked cold pizza is--ewwww) Mood's ditto like it was before half an hour (Ofcourse! Venus)

After much ado when Venus comes face to face with Mars, looking like a heartbroken sharmila tagore in Aradhana with that "OMG mein barbaad ho gayi, m pregnant" kinda look, the first thing she says is, "We need to talk"

"Uh huh" says Mars knowing very well that this is the beginning of his end (looking just as clueless and ever horny as rajesh khanna does almost in 99% of the movies)

---irrelevant lines alert--- BTW, I read in some statistical survey on some cheesy website that 99% of men think that make up sex is the best way to get a fight over. Dunno what that one remaining guy was thinking. They didn't poll the women for this question. Maybe because they didn't want to have a hoard of women with baseball bats attacking their office cause this was afterall the most preposterous question in the whole wide world---- bas khatam ab back to our jhagda.

So, the kind of psychology freak that I am, Mein sochne lagi ki, When it comes to resolving conflicts do men and women really approach it differently?

Do women want to resolve conflicts by talking and clearing misconceptions, setting rules and boundaries?

On the other hand do men like to just get it over with during the fight and not dwell over the 'same stuff' again and 'discuss' the issues later?

I think men and women do approach conflicts differently. Men don't really think that an argument here or there can end a relationship. Women on the other hand feel that all issues that arise NEED to be addressed, NEED to be solved and NEED to be discussed. While she would spend an entire afternoon desecting her BF's or husband's reaction during a particular fight; this sorta thing wouldn't find a mention in the guys dialogues with his friends.

So, I have kind of come to the conclusion that the analyzing, thinking, and discussing is not worth the effort. If all you are going to get out of your genuine desire to 'work things out' is a half hearted "Uh Huh", I say let the issues remain, let the men have the peace of mind they desire, let the harsh words disolve into the thin air without any resolutions...until the next fight that is ;)

Music: Jaane kya baat hai from Sunny
Mood: Dreamy

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Modesty- the best policy?

I received a very motivating email forward this morning, you know, not the regular inspirational message that tells you ten things about friendship in a weepy powerpoint and then tells you to forward it to ten friends lest you want to lose ALL your money and your EK AKELA BF in just ten minutes.

This one was ekdum alag, it had a long list of things that will make you contented and happy at the end of a long day if you did them/put them into practice/understood them. I took fancy to one particular sentence that said: "Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born." It stuck me because it was so simple. And so very difficult to achieve. Atleast, IMHO.

I truly believe that the higher a person goes, the easier it is to be modest. Imagine a person whose resume reads like a dream--- Best school- Harvard or Oxford, Best job- CEO of Google or some such super hot company, University accolades, Co-curricular activities ka champion and all those small little perfect things that adorn a dream resume. Add to this a George Clooney face and a Bill Clinton personality. Theek hai chalo, Ek Carmen Electra jaise biwi bhi karlo add.

Now, I believe that it is simpler for this person to be modest and underplay some of his achievements. The world already knows him, talks about him, worships him. Kitne saare log look upto him as Big Boss. He has a LOT of things going for him so its easier for him to be modest saying "Nahi, mein itna bhi mahaan nahi" with a shy shahrukh khan dimpled smile.

Now, take another scenario of an average guy--- B+ schooling grades, thik thak university and a decent paying job. No George clooney resemblance here but definitely a khwab for that Carmen look alike next door. This guy does a great job at one of the company meetings and then brags about it for the next one year to all his friends, family, neighbours, and the doodhwala. He tells everyone who earns less than him, how successful he is at his job and how much they will have to work to reach at his position. "Yeh aasan nahi hai" he would say with a sly shakti kapoor style, as if he has the mantra to turn sand to gold, when an innocent looking junior tries to know the secret to his "success".

Do we know one of these people here? Do we? I think we do. A majority of us would fall under the second category- average success in most fields with a relative decent success thrown in one of the things that we excel in. Would you leave a chance to blow your own horn if its probably something great that you have done in a long time? (And the fact that you know it is going to be another zillion years to your next achievement!) Would you be full of humility and modesty and shake off the ' Wah Wah's' with a smile saying, "It's nothing."?

I think it is very difficult being modest. It is more difficult being modest when you know you have achieved something big and no one seems to be recognizing it, talking about it. That said, I want to be a more modest person. I am working at it. Bada mushkil hai!

Music: Intehaan ho gayi from 'Sharabi'
Mood: Optimistic

Monday, October 02, 2006

Navratri Nostalgia

Girl Talk- the phrase conjures up images of a bunch of girls- chirping and giggling. It also brings back memories of a time back home in India when some of us close friends used to gather for a sleep-over.

Sleepovers were most popular during Navratri days- the nine nights when friends would gather for Dandia and eventually end up at a friends place for the after party. Dandia makes you seriously hungry and there is nothing like a butter dripping, dil ki arteries ko successfully blocking karnewala Pau bhaji at 2 in the morning after the crazy dancing.

At home, over warm mugs of chocolate milk and chips we talked about everything under the sun- (ok yes BOYS were a big topic, but not the ONLY topic!). Sleep was an alien concept for that one night and we gave a good whacking to the first gal who yawned.

Gossip was an integral part of all sleepovers and just like ganeshji ka naam leke you start a shubh kaam, we gals started off our sacred secret sharing session (SSSS!) with a generous dose of gossip. Sample this: Amaresh was indeed at Neerja's place when Sunidhi called her to discuss some Statistics ka problem. Neerja solved Sunidhi's statistical problem on phone but Amaresh was probably studying a different kind of statistics at Neerja's. So thodi si gossip, khub saari masti and the chips cracking by the dozen!

A lot of conclusions were made and behavior analysis gurus would have learnt a thing or two from us. So, If Ankur and Akanksha were deliberately trying to be apart during the raas, it is possible they might be in bed together by now. Or likewise if Shashank was being overly friendly with his girlfriend's best friend, we are going to see a dramebazi se bhara breakup anytime now.

So with so much gossip and good food, can dil ki baat be far behind? Sleepovers bring over a certain vulnerability and as guards are dropped some confessions came out. Like when a friend of mine told me that she hated me the whole first year of our college coz she saw me chatting in a friendly way (flirting?!) with a real college cutie or when another friend said to me that she secretly admired my dress sense all through college before we finally became close buddies in the final year of college!

And then, just like that, the sky turned pink and the dawn broke. The energetic chatter died down but the hot coffee that the most generous soul (read:friend's mom) brought for us at 6 in the morning successfully managed to keep us from dozing off.

Living miles away, I do miss Navratri back home. But more than the dandia, I miss the mindless talk at sleepovers and that heart clogging Pau bhaji that bonded us all for life.

Today at lunch, while I was getting nostalgic looking at my tiffin (I got Pau Bhaji today- look at the irony of the situation!), I got invited over to a friend's place for an informal lunch. Now, this friend N is a colleague of mine but for the last few months we have kind of hit it off on the friendship aspect too. And over some 'not-so-tasty' Bhaji pau and some really nice bhindi we got talking. And though, we didn't have the entire 8 hours that sleepovers usually have; we made the most of the two hours that we spent together by talking incessantly about everything under the sun (And yes, once again BOYS were one of the topics)! Amidst lots of smiles, we said good-bye...Whoever said, Change is the only constant in life ko mera big salaam :)

Music: Roz roz aankhon tale from 'Jeeva'
Mood: Contemplative